foodchewer: *hides good snacks from family members*
When the teacher writes a bunch of mathematical...
Well excuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUu se me
a haiku about most of my pencils
jaclcfrost: a second ago had you a second ago what the fucking shit
I was hungry so I bought some animal crackers at...
Cashier guy: ok that will be 1.39
Me: uh can I get a bag too please?
Cashier guy: *gives me a weird look but hands me a small bag*
Me: thank you I think people might look at me funny if they see me walking around the mall with animal crackers you know
Cashier guy: what just be like "YEH I LIKE ANIMAL CRACKERS AND WHAT"
Cashier guy (as I'm leaving): DON'T LET THE HATERS BRING YOU DOWN YOU EAT THOSE ANIMAL CRACKERS GIRL
Tumblr: Only a heartless person would scroll pa-
Me: *Scrolls past*
porndirector: i’d be so attractive if i was attractive
youwishangelfish: Imagine reading a book of every conversation where people have spoken about you.
metaphorically: i was crying in my car in front of the mcdonalds near my house eating french fries and listening to my sad playlist in the car and a black guy tapped on my window and just gave me life changing advice “its going to be ok lil nigga you can do it”
fffcuk: im glad they blur it out when people give the middle finger on tv. i can’t imagine what the sight of an entire middle finger might do to a child’s mind.
story of my life: i don't know what to wear because i look ugly in everything
circumcisions: procrastinators are able to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in the 30 minutes before it’s due
I’m slowly unlearning how to english
saturgay: making a joke in front of a ton of people and having them all crack up is one if the most beautiful feelings you’ll ever feel don’t deny it
british: american people are so annoying
chinese: american people are so annoying
mexicans: american people are so annoying
french: american people are so annoying
americans: we are so annoying
canadians: I fucking love maple syrup
australians: we can do your accent but none of you assholes can do ours AHAHAHAHA
i don’t even remember like 85% of 2012
mattfoundglory: the only reason i wear all black is so i can absorb the energy from the sun and become the most powerful being on the earth
bueno: things i haven’t learned in high school how to pay bills how to buy a house how to buy a car how to apply for loans for college but thank jesus i can graph a polynomial function
me during summer: is today wednesday or sunday
mereperf: man if i had an identical twin we would fuck shit up so bad let me tell you
esexist: please dont kill me i have a blog to run